# 3 - Electra

    Oh my dear beloved Jason Michael Miller, are you crazy ? I meant, were you crazy ? Like seriously, how can you ask me to smile when obviously I would cry until there's no more tears to cry. This is ridiculous! Absurd! Tears keeps on falling from my eyes. Of course I still remember everything - when we first met, when your parents died, when you came into my house, when we used to sleep together when we were kids,  how you would hug me so tightly when thunder came, how you would sing or play the guitar to lullaby me to sleep, our 14th valentines, our first kiss - everything, I still remember everything about us. I remember it all too well.
    How in the world am I going to fall in love again ? Answer me Jay. Answer me. Please come back. Please. There's no way of me falling in love again with another guy. That would mean erasing the memories of me and you. I don't want that. I want to remember you forever. I don't want to open the album just to look at your face because I couldn't remember it. That's scary. I don't want that to happen.
    I started crying like a baby again. My eyes are so badly swollen already. I think I'm losing grip right now. I just can't face the music. Not now. Not yet.
" Jaaaayy ! ", I scream.
    Then again, Jay's letter is his last wish for me. Because of that, I have to grant it. I try to wipe my tears away. Jay is watching me right now. I can't show him that I'm crying like a baby. Yet, my tears keeps on falling.
    The words of Jay's letter is starting to turn blurry as my tears won't stop falling. Okay Jay, I will smile. Smile Electra, smile ! Stop these stupid tears. Smile. Smile for Jay. He's right here watching over you. Show him you're smiling as he asked you to. Hey Jay, look here, I'm smiling , for you.
    I'm sorry Jay, but I think I won't be keeping these things you want me to. I wanna stop being Electra Spark the rising superstar. No more interviews, photoshoots, recordings and concerts. No more. From now on I'll be a normal 16 years-old high school girl. From now on, I'm just the ordinary Sarah Electra Spark. From now on, people will know me as Sarah. I'm sorry Jay, I can't bear to hear the name Electra if you're not gonna be here anymore. I don't want another person trying to call me Elle other than you. Thus, from this moment, I am Sarah. To make sure no one recognize me, I'll be having a bit of makeover. I'm sorry Jay. You want me to smile, right ? This is the only way for me to keep that promise of yours. Although I'll be changing, my love for won't change.
" Electra ! Electraa ! ", here comes Milani as she slams open my door.
  " What ?! ", responding.
" You are in major trouble young lady," as she shoves me a newspaper.

 ELECTRA SPARK FLEW OFF LEAVING FANS DISSAPOINTED

    

 " oooh," is all I can say

" oooh? What oooh ? ", she is starting to lose it.

  " Well, we might as leave them dissapointed  COMPLETELY ," smirking.

" What do you mean? ", confused, obviously.

  " Well.. let just say that Electra Spark the rising superstar is dead and gone," still smirking.

Milani is giving me a blank face which totally means she doesn't get it. Poor poor Milani, my beloved manger.

  I giggle a bit ," You could say I wanna stop being Electra Spark the rising supertar. "

" Why ?", shocked.

  " Jay wants me to smile. For that, I want to stop all of this and return to being plain old Sarah." , smiling so widely.

     I think Milani gets it now. She is always so understanding. That's why I'm not scared to this "suddenness".

Milani starts calling numbers to tell people that Electra Spark is dead and gone. Not technically, but something like that. She's calling the media. She's calling schools. Schools ! Oh yeah, I have schools from now on like a normal person. No more private tutors. Like old times with Jay. Stop Electra, stop. Stop thinking about Jay. You are going to change now. For a second Milani shocks me as she started raising her voice , " and..oh. bring the stylist here. ASAP!"

That is so Milani.
    Well, that put me back to smiling. Milani is funny to watch when she's serious.

 " I love you Milani !", jumping at her and giving her a hug with a kiss on the cheek.

And here comes my stylist. Tall and handsome. Wearing an all black getup. Black hair. White skin. Hazel eyes which are captivating. He's Italian. Obviously a hunky. He's Giordani, my personal stylist.

    Sitting on a chair, looking at myself in the mirror, getting ready for a haircut. This is it. Goodbye Electra Spark.

" So Sarah, what is your last wish as Electra Spark?", asking with deep but sweet voice. Other than Milani and dad, he's the only one in the business that knows my first name - not including Jay of course.

  " Let's just say, make me vanish, " saying with a big big smile on my face as tears starting to fall again from my eyes.

Look Jay, I'm smiling.

Goodbye Electra. Goodbye Jay. Goodbye stardom.
    Although my eyes are filled with tears, I keep on smiling for Jay to see from above. I make myself brave to look at the me in the mirror as Giordani started cutting my hair.

Goodbye.

    

    

#2 - Jay's Letter

To My Dear Beloved Electra,

    Hey, whatcha doin ? Don't tell me you're crying. Don't cry, please don't.  Electra, maybe you're still in shock while reading this letter, but please, I want you to smile as you read this letter. Please Electra, smile for me :)

     SMILE LIKE I'M RIGHT THERE BESIDE     YOU :)

    Electra, do you remember when we first met ? I remember it like it was just yesterday. It was on a wonderful evening in Amsterdam at the field of lavender in the country side. We were about 4 years old back then. You were there to visit your gramps and so was I. Who would've known that your dad and my dad were best friends. I was captivated by you as soon as I saw your smile that was as bright as the sun that day. That was the day I first fell in love with you.

    Remember once you were so jealous of me because I had a mother. haha.. that was funny. You were sulking and not talking to me for a whole week. Man, that made me sad.

    When my parents died, you hugged me as you cried with me. Honestly, you don't know how red my cheeks were at that time. 

    When I moved into your house to live with you and dad, more embarrassing moments that I swore I could have died of embarrassment. As a child, you would always come to sleep with me whenever it rains. Well, that couldn't be help since there's only me and you in the house and sometimes the maid. Remember how we loved to sabotage her. That was good times.

    As we grew older, you are getting prettier. I can't help being jealous whenever you talk to other guys. When you were in cheerleading team during junior high, you don't know how the guys were looking at you. Believe me, they were drooling like dogs. ehhe.. honestly, so was I. I'm sorry, you are too beautiful in my eyes.

    I still remember my 14th valentines. Our 14th valentines. The day I thought my heart would stop beating. The day I confessed my love to you. God, you don't how happy I was that our feelings were mutual. haha..like seriously. I felt like I'd suddenly have rockets instead of my pair of legs and that I flew out of into the universe. That was silly.

    And, when you knew about my heart disease. You cried as if you might lose me in that moment. You cried so hard till there's no more tears. It was funny how you look when your eyes were swollen so hard. Seriously, you looked like a zombie at that time. haha...sorry.

    When the world started knowing Electra Spark, I was happy. Yet, I was afraid that other guys that are much cooler than me would capture your heart. I'd never say it before, because I believe in you. I believe in us.

    Elle, I can't stop loving you with every ticking second. Even if my heart were to stop beating, I promise you that my love won't stop. I am forever yours. I'm sorry if I ever made you cried. I'm sorry I couldn't be the prince that you always dreamed of when we were kids.

    Electra, everything about you is magical. Your angelic voice. Your brunette hair. Your green eyes. Your pink lips. Your pink lips. Your enchanting smile. The way you dance so gracefully. The way your fingers move when you played the piano. When I'm gone, please don't throw all these things away. Treasure them, cherish them. I want you to live a completely happy life. Forget about me. Fall in love again. Please, don't try to stop yourself from falling in love.

    I love you  Electra Spark, I really do. You're the reason I pray each day to continue on living so that I could forever be with you. But, my fate was written this way. I have to let you go. I'm sorry. Move on and find a better guy that could treat you better, that could love you more.

    Dear Elle, please don't cry. Please don't. SMILE. For I like that the most about you. Even if I were to go first, remember, you won't be alone. I will always be with you. FOREVER :) 

forever and always.

   Hey superstar , I LOVE YOU LIKE CRAZY !

Goodbye love :)                                   

                                                                                                                          Heart, Mind and Soul,

                                                                                                            Jason Michael Miller

                   

# 1 - Electra

    In the middle of the concert, I rushed off too the hospital, leaving my fans confused. This would definitely ruin  my reputation. This feels like I'm letting every single of my fans down, I betrayed them. But, all of that doesn't matter if I couldn't see Jay for the last time. No, I don't want Jay to leave me. He can't leave me.
He CAN'T leave me.
    He's my everything. My heart, my soul, my love, my best friend, most importantly, my family. His parents died when he was 6 leaving him all alone. Since then, he stayed with me and my dad. To be honest, it was only me and him from the very beginning. Dad is never home. He is always too busy with business trips and stuffs I could never understand. Each other is all we had. Not until now.
    When I reached the hospital, he was in the surgery room. Then, a nurse came out. I looked at her with hope. She gave a sigh which gave me no answer. A moment later, the doctor came out and look at me.
"..and who are you ?", he said.
  " His bestfriend, his sister, his love," I answered
" I need to speak to his guardians,"
  " No, doctor. There's no one else. Each other is all we have. You know that,"
He sighed, " .. I'm sorry. Each other is all you had."
Tears started falling from my eyes. My body collapsed. This must be a joke. This can't be true. I looked at the doctor again with eyes filled with tears.
  "..you're joking...rr..r.right ? This can't be true ! This ain't funny ! ," I cried.
The nurse grabbed my arm and hauled me to a chair nearby. " I'm sorry," she said, " you're Electra Spark aren't you ? The rising superstar?"
    Damn nurse ! How can she ask that kind of question at a time like that . I just gave her a stare.
" Oh, sorry," there she goes again," but you're friend is forever gone"
    And it all came back to me, all the times we spent together. All the cries and laughter. His beautiful face. His blonde hair. His mesmerizing blue eyes. His sweet smile. His voice when he laugh, cries, when he said goodmorning, when he said " I love you". Those kisses we shared. I can still feel his last kiss on my forehead. , last night. I could still remember the way his fingers run when he's playing the piano, when he played the guitar, last night.
    I had never imagined that everything that we did last night was for the last time. Still, I couldn't accept the truth. If I knew what were to come today, I would stop time, I would say I love you to him a million time, I would do all those things he ever wanted but couldn't. Fate was written this way. How cruel ! Why Jay ? Why not me ? Jay was so bright, everybody loved him. Why does it has to be Jay? What is to come to me after this ? I'd lost my everything. How could I ever move on ? Electra Spark the rising superstar is nothing without him anymore. It was him who made me the way I am me. Without me, the world wouldn't even care who the hell is Electra Spark. Come back Jay. I don't want to miss you like this. Be here with me forever, Jay.
    I started crying like a kid who had lost her mom at the park.Suddenly, a nurse came and handed me an envelope written, " to my beloved Electra". I stare at the nurse for a moment before I took it. I gave the envelope a life full of stare. I just can't bear to read it. Moments later, my manager, Milani, came to get me home.  I'll read it when we reach home.
    In this moment, I swear everything has changed. Goodbye dear Jay.